Lost

The past few days were kinda hard. It's like EPIC hard. But neither like it nor not, that's something everyone has to go through.
In certain time after I had my pray done (whenever I feel free to have something more spiritually going over), I laid on the mat. Portraying myself as dead (c'mon, everyone will). The question is, "am I ready to meet Him?".
And ofcourse basically I'm not ready since glee is still on the way (I'm a gleeks). But I'm not the one who controls the time. Yet, I'm not the one who can ask extra seconds before dies.

Mom always says "we were alive because we will die" (literally means - kita hidup sebab kita akan mati). It's kinda double-meaning things.
I was like "The lady who teaches children to know the words that rewarded some knowledge to tell her son especially this eldest one who life somewhere out of her place said what?" (It was spoke in a very fast mode)

Enough with the sorrow part. Lets move on.
I sang many solos to regain my self-esteem. "Everyone will lose something" - it's textbook.
Whenever I lost something in the past, I changed. In certain ways. Maybe this's kinda wake-up calls from Him, so I'll behaviorally change. See, make sense somehow.

So, maybe tomorrow I'll stop singing "Kisah Hati", "Everytime", "Cry", "Get it Right", and "Nokhtah Cinta".
And start to sing back my favorite track-list, "Don't Rain On My Parade", "Don't Stop Believing", "Awan Nano", "Dunia Kita", "Newyork State of Mind," and others.. (Those are my go-to-shower songs).
See, basically my 'Rachel Berry mood' always turned-on while I hit the shower. No offense.

What doesn't kill you make you stronger. God knows we worth it.